How do you feel about the prospective mediator?
Trustworthiness is demonstrated by a person’s actions, words, demeanor, and dress. First impressions are crucial. Mannerisms, vocal tone, as well as facial expression and general behavior often help determine whether or not a person is trustworthy.
Flexibility is the characteristic that enables a mediator to roll with the punches. Flexibility is a crucial trait since no two mediations are the same! An effective mediator:
- Does not have preconceived ideas about the issues or possible resolutions to the problem.
- Allows the parties to be in control of their dialogue and co-created agreements while he or she remains in charge of the mediation process.
- Adjusts quickly to whatever situation may occur during the session and addresses it appropriately.
- Knows how and when to get out of the way when the conditions warrant.
Remember that in a storm, the rigid oak can be easily broken and blown over, while the flexible willow tree bends with the wind and remains standing after the storm. The mediator’s ability to be flexible allows the participants the opportunity to vent, develop and explore their options.
Previously in the Preparing for Divorce Mediation Series: How to Choose a Mediator and How a Mediator Should Act – Focusing
Next in the Preparing for Divorce Mediation Series: How to Choose a Mediator and How a Mediator Should Act – Patience & Perseverance
Click here for a Full Summary of the Preparing for Divorce Mediation Series.